We won't sleep together?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
