Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
