It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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