hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
