i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
