Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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