so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
