you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
