do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
