Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
