the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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