i was born a porn star she said
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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