I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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