How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
