I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We don't watch enough power rangers
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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