Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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