Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
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