i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
