He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
