I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
