Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
