I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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