you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize
