Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
