who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
