things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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