I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
