just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
