Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
