I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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