white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
