I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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