The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
