i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
