I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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