and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
