im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
