no, he came in my armpit
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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