Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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