the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
