went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
