and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
