I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
