my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The best revenge is premature balding
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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