I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
