They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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