I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
