I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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