We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
