you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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